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Life’s a Pilgrim: Trusting God Always
A Reflection by Jhun Ryan Oani Nicolas
10/14/10
“It started out as a walk. I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead. And by walking, it takes a lot of everything; time, energy and it also takes a lot of leaving, leaving behind tons of excess baggage that make the walk heavy. Nevertheless, this could be an endless walk towards somewhere that only I and my God know. I mean it’s a walk to where my feet would lead me that I do not know. But I’m quite sure, with trust and by God’s grace, I know somehow, somewhere, my feet would take me to a place I have never imagined.”
I have never joined a pilgrimage before. Although, the idea wasn’t new to me, but still, I was constantly reminded of how fulfilling the activity is after one had already made the so-called pilgrim walk. When I was asked if I would do it, doubt and uncertainties had haunted my mind. Questions like, what if I do not make it? Will the place be safe for us? How long will the journey be? have been lingering me as I have been very much secure with my comfort zones. Believe me, I may have been acted like toughie on the outside but in reality, I’m more of a talawan. Without hesitation, I said yes to an invitation! After all, I had wanted to be always available for God. A rare opportunity such as this would somehow show me an overview of what to expect in the life of a Columban missionary. I had mixed emotions and even apprehensions as to sign up or I would just make a shameful excuse of not attending. Hay! What has become of me!
I left Davao with a higher dosage of excitement. I, being the only endangered male volunteer doing volunteer work to a women’s group, asked for a blessing from my “ate’s” in Talikala and Lawig Bubai. They, next to my family, have been very supportive to my vocation, my mission. I brought from them handful of prayers and inspiring words of encouragement as I headed my way to Ecoland to take a bus-ride. I was a very long and tiring trip. Good thing, my ever reliable not-so-hightech-MP3 kept me company through out the duration of the trip. I just let my eyes feasted the beauty of the scenic Bukidnon. I enjoyed the majestic views of the great valleys and plateaus. The mountains and hills were masterfully picture perfect. With the right combination of light and hue, the world is indeed, charged with the grandeur of God!
It was raining in Cagayan de Oro when I arrived the night before our much-anticipated Pilgrimage in Our Lady-of-Guadalupe chapel in Tablon. This was the site for this year’s pilgrimage which was quite different from the past. Some of my co-pilgrims were already in the mission house. I and Grant, my buddy, were the last people to arrive. Together, the group attended the novena-mass in Agusan where a parish was managed by a Columban priest. Fr. Paul, a Columban missionary-priest, gave us a briefing and an orientation about the said place. We were told that we will be doing a pilgrimage by the river. This meant that all of us will get wet, literally. He gave us tips as to what to bring and what to and what not to do. His assurance of a great walk and a little water adventure have somehow lessen the concerns that I had been bearing from the start. And I said to myself, I have to do this at walang ayawan at atrasan na ito!
The dawn mass intended for my co-pilgrim started the day. We offered a special mass for Don ( I hope he passed! ) as he is about to take the teacher’s board. After the heavy breakfast, we went back to the parish to fetch some people that would accompany and guide us then we headed on to the site. We were on a riverbank as we started the walk. I’m still clueless as to where we will be and what are we going to face through. I cannot know where it will end. We, the Mananata needed to pass the 14 Stations of the Cross that lead to the chapel on top of the hill to complete the trek. Now, the trek was not that easy. As each of the stations had been situated in different places, the mananata had to cross the mighty river in order to get to the other side. I and my co-pilgrims were set to take the rugged road and ready to face the strong current where more or less traversed by people from all walks of life wearing a pair of strong sandals or slippers for rough terrain. It was just ordinary day yet we have met total strangers who shared the same purpose as ours. At one point, we have shared the same passion as to have something that we wanted to experience or even wished for what may our heart desired. I took a grip that would hold me still as the water rushed through my thighs. It was like holding on to something very valuable, yet you do not want to let it go. One might need the help of the tungkod for balance, precision, and pamalo. I have one, for security, you know, I have fear on snakes. Kuya Bernie paid it for me. You see, I really admire the Pinoy’s sense of ingenuity. The tungkod is a very brisky business in this part of the Philippines. Rather than consuming it personally, instead, I gave it to Doc Grant. I know deep inside me, he needed it more than I do. He had with him our food and drinks that would augment our hunger and thirst. So I was thinking for both, saving the food and Doc Grant! See, I have made a “little sacrifice!” With almost an hour or walking and traversing, we have reached the peak, the simple chapel of the Our Lady of Guadalupe. It was gently erected at the top of a hill. What a soothing view! There, we offered our prayer and we had the rosary. In the Igbabalay, we’ve met generous people whom we encountered for the first time. There were quite a number of sari-sari stores that give refreshment for the trekkers. The danger is that, it has started to become known commercially as the essence of why the “so-called-shrine” was put up will be a cause of issue. And besides that, quite a number of locals have made the area attractive to tourist for there is white water tubing as an alternative if your feet had been swollen by blisters caused by a number of slips and slides in which you do not want to take a long walk anymore. We thought of using it since the in-charge wanted us to experience water tubing. But then again, using the rubber tubes would depict of our purpose. How I wish I had the same tungkod that Moses used when he divided the Red Sea forming walls of water into two to make the Israelites free from slavery from the Egyptians so as to make the long way short! It was then that I realized even though how shallow has it may seem, I was not Moses after all, yet the invitation for me to follow Moses’ courageous act is deeply inculcated in my heart. I have to take courage in everything that I do. To stand to what I think and I believe is right. To fight courageously against the forces that hinders the development of the society in a most respectful way. Everyday, I have to keep myself grounded with a mission as to how I help other people to be free from the scars of oppression, neglect and other forms of injustices. It was the same liberation that I have been constantly praying for the prostituted women and children who are still active on the streets of Davao. I take the stand as to show that there’s a man fighting for and upholding the rights of the people in the community particularly those I’m serving in the Alternative Learning System ( ALS )Program.
The river has become erratic and unpredictable every time I take plunge in the water. Each rapid had never been the same. Each has its own depth. Each has its own way of rushing. Like in life, people have face sorts of problem with great concern, often pre-occupied with things that do not seem to bother or with great gravity, we have to let go and let God. A lot of people may have simply lost the thread that holds them closer to God. A lot of us had forgotten to pray, to forgive and to give thanks. But I am not losing hope. In this life we live, we need to pray more, forgive more and to thank most. We need to build trust on each other; to deeply learn how to trust our neighbor, and most of all, to simply trust God always.
I have made so much realization in life. The river pilgrim lasted for a day yet I felt like I was not the same anymore. I am seeing slowly a new me. The journey towards God had just been starting. I know, countless river rapids are waiting for me to conquer by. The path towards something may not be that smooth. But, I just have to trust the process. I know, nothing will lose and I’m quite sure I will gain more if I just have to trust. Each one of us had a story to tell on how we conquered the river in our own way. Maybe for once, the river pilgrimage may be a test of strength, endurance, and faith. That in this life that we chose to live, just like the river, the rapids may be very heavy to bear, the currents maybe too strong to face, nor the path maybe too shallow or too deep, I do not know. But one thing that I am sure about, I will not fear. I will not be afraid. For God, who had always been beside me, never left me to face my perils, alone.
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!
